Antichrist-mas

On Boxing Day we battle (Wrath) crowds of crazed (Anger) shoppers desperately trying to obtain (Lust) a better deal (Greed) than everyone else (Envy/Pride); or we just sit around watching football (Sloth). So, why in Hell do we celebrate Boxing Day?

Snow Plow

I woke to the sound of a slow plow blade scraping the asphalt on the road outside my hotel room window. It sounds a little like a jet engine. I lay in bed for awhile wondering how long it would be until they plowed the road next to my job site and I think about how much damage snow plows have done to the site over the years. I plan my escape route in case I see a snow plow bearing down on me and then get up for breakfast. Pancakes.

Vernon

I've been staring at the screen trying to write about Vernon, but nothing seems to...

It snows here in winter, which is great for skiing, but not so great for work. We've been lucky so far; once when I was out here the snow plows buried the door to our equipment building and I had to dig it out by hand. Heavy, brown, slushy, snowplow snow.

They have a bike park nearby, but it is closed for the season. This makes me feel sad.

I had dinner at Kelly O'Bryan's. It's a very Irish sounding place and there is a shamrock on the menu, but the waitresses wore kilts which is very Scottish. I thought "maybe the waitresses all attend the same Irish Private School and they came to work straight from class", but I noticed a waiter wearing one too; and it pushed the thought out of my head; and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get it back in.

I'm staying at the Village Green Hotel and my toilet has a square seat. This time I decided to unpack my suitcase and put my clothes in the dresser. It is a single deep drawer which makes unpacking very easy. Clothes in the dresser; what a trip.

....come to mind.

Flying Baby

Someone cut in front of my wife who was next in line for a bathroom stall at Pearson International Airport in Toronto. She exchanged horrified looks with a girl who was sporting a purple mohawk and also waiting in line. A 50-something woman was rude enough to disgust a girl with a purple mohawk. This sums up our overall experience at YYZ.

When you fly with a baby they make you hold her in your lap because she is too small to wear a seatbelt and they haven't come up with a better idea. Think about it; if you held your baby in your lap while you were driving in a car, an angry mob would appear and stone you to death. You're not even supposed to jog with a baby strapped into a jogging stroller with a 5 point harness until she's a year old. HEADLINE: "YUMMY MOMMY CRASHES INTO SWAMP, KILLING ALL PASSENGERS ON BOARD, WHILE JOGGING AT THE BEACH". Maybe air travel is safer than jogging.

On the plane a flight attendant instructed me to hold the baby against my chest during take off and landing, but you can't hold your carry on baggage against your chest during take off and landing. For the safety of passengers please stow carry on baggage under the seat in front of you. After all you wouldn't want carry on baggage flying around the plane, someone might get hurt.

Luckily the plane didn't crash on take off, oxygen masks didn't drop from overhead, and I wasn't struck by a flying infant. During the flight I held the baby on my lap, as instructed, and she seemed to be having a fine time. Then without warning and very rapidly, the guy in front of me lowered his seat back and struck my daughter on the head. Fun times over.

The Big Smoke

Clever name for a Torontario BBQ restaurant. The food was pretty good too.

Most Canadian City

Sometimes you visit a place that truly makes you feel Canadian, in fact it oozes Canadiana like maple syrup. During this Eastern swing of business meetings, I was lucky enough to visit a city that oozed just like that.

It is the birthplace of Confederation and the site of the first organized hockey game.

It was (and is because he’s buried here) the home of our beloved drunken forefather Sir John A MacDonald, the first Prime Minister of Canada. The man who after throwing up during a debate, uttered the famous words “ I get sick sometimes not because of drink or any other cause, except that I am forced to listen to the ranting of my honorable opponent."

It is where Canadian National Rock & Roll Anthem writing The Tragically Hip hail from.

It was the first city to be named the Capital of Canada and is the location of prestigious Queens University.

The famous ice skating canal Rideau has its mouth here.

It is the location of Fort Frontenac which survived a 2 month Iroquois seige in 1688 during the Iroquois War and was later captured by 3000 British Troops in 1758 during the Seven Years War. Destroyed and rebuilt both times, the fort is still occupied by the Canadian military to this day.

Put it all together and Ottawa comes to mind, but it isn't. Quebec City? Non.

This most Canadian of Cities is Kingston, Ontario.

First Flight

It went pretty well. She was easily entertained by all the people moving about on the plane, but all the action also kept her from one of her naps. By the time we landed she was exhausted and since all those distracting passengers and flight attendants were in their seats, I laid her across my lap while the plane taxied. She fell asleep just before the "seat belt" light went off and everyone jumped up to exit the plane. I guess a 5 second nap is better than none.

Who Knew There Were Caribou?

Who knew there were caribou this far south?

On our way to Banff we drove through the mountains between Salmo and Creston, and at the top of the mountain pass we briefly entered caribou territory. We didn't see a caribou, but we did see a yellow sign with a silhouette of a caribou reminding us not to run over a caribou.

Grizzly in My Parking Spot

The wife was swimming at the Nelson Community Center one evening. When she came home there was a grizzly standing in the spot where we park the car. It was mightily startled by the headlights and ran up the road, back to the forest.

We decided rather than stay in a hotel, we would rent a house in an area of Nelson called Mountain Station. It is a beautifully renovated 100 year old farmhouse on a half acre of land high above the City. The view from the kitchen window is spectacular and there are fantastic walking and biking trails right out the front door. Although there are a few houses above ours, there isn't much between here and the Selkirk Mountains, and we had heard on the radio earlier in the week about a grizzly sighted in our area.

When she finally got up enough courage to come inside after scaring away the great silver-tipped bear, the wife somewhat testily asked me if I received her text message. I guess she didn't want to phone and wake the baby, and apparently I was supposed to rush out there to rescue her, but I hadn't noticed the text which simply stated "Grizzly".

Placenta Descenta

Days off in Nelson are for mountain biking, and Nelson delivers with more than 80 trails including Placenta Descenta.


Nothing like ripping down a steep, jagged rock-strewn trail through a bear infested forest to help one forget how many times Van-Kam Freightways has screwed up a simple materials delivery.

Nelson

Nelson B.C. has somehow packed in all the good things you might find in the downtown core of a large city yet still kept the feel of a small town. How are they able to sustain 4 or 5 high-end restaurants, independent coffee shops, and organic bakeries & grocers in a town with a population of about 10,000 with no major industry? They even have their own police force.

Two answers to the question come to mind. The first is City council fights tooth and nail to keep franchise restaurants out of Nelson, which gives the independent shops an advantage over the Burger Kings, Tim Hortons, and McDonald’s, none of which are in Nelson. A few unfortunate slip ups have occurred; the Subway, A&W and Starbucks (you can’t stop the evil empire), but for the most part Nelson is refreshingly original. The second is the people of Nelson have money, and it isn’t from working in a mine or cutting down a forest, it’s from growing marijuana.

All of a sudden the Nelson Police Force makes sense. A town that thrives on the profits of the Devil’s Lettuce, and collects taxes from the influx of money generated by growers of the Giggle Bush, and furtherly uses that tax money to pay civil servants, has a police force that is technically being paid by Jungle Juice. To me, a guy who does not partake in the Mary Potter but is otherwise not opposed to it, this is sheer genius. Stage a few phony busts to make the squares think the fuzz are on their game and otherwise leave the urban farmers and the City of Nelson to prosper.

Apparently, Nelson was one of the few places in North American that wasn't hit at all by the economic disaster that crippled the U.S. I guess even when people are short on green, they still buy Green.

So was Nancy Reagan wrong when she told us to “just say no”? I think the people of Nelson might just say yes.

Slag Pile

When the baby decides it is time to stop, it is time to stop.

That is exactly how we ended up having lunch in Greenwood BC, a town that I have always called “Slag Pile” because of the gigantic pile of slag that dominates the view as you enter B.C.'s smallest city. We have blasted through Slag Pile many times on our way to other destinations, but we have never stopped. This time the baby decided it was time to stop in Slag Pile, and stop we did.

Forgetting for a moment the pile of slag, which is a relic of an old copper mine, Greenwood is actually a very quaint little town. The buildings downtown have existed since the town boomed and are reminiscent an old western; a colourful and cheery facade masking a melancholy emptiness. We had lunch at the Pacific Grill, which I was surprised to find a clean, well-decorated establishment. We were promptly seated, provided with a nice high chair for the baby, and served an excellent lunch. I had a homemade burger that was pretty damn good, and the baby really enjoyed the ceiling fans.

As we were leaving town it occurred to me that Greenwood is like a living ghost town, and at that very moment I thought I saw Lee Van Cleef shooting apples out of a tree for a local Italian Mexican boy, but I guess it was just a trick of the slag.

The New Project: Phase 2

“The New Project” is progressing ahead of schedule (or at least it seems to be going fast). The new project milestones achieved this past week include: seeing herself in a mirror, discovering the existence of the floor, almost waving, sleeping 8 hours at night, and possibly recognizing the sound of her name. She's also growing like a weed. She barely fits in the bathtub that looked like it would drown her 6 weeks ago.

As for me, I'm passing some milestones of my own. Despite secretly conspiring never to change a diaper, I bit the bullet yesterday and got the job done. It turns out it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. There are no pins in the modern cloth diapers; its all velcro; and it didn't smell bad at all. In another couple of months I may be ready to change a dirty diaper. I'll keep you posted.

Well, break's over. If you need me I'll be in the laundry room.

The New Project

Your favorite steel toed boot wearing, travelling trench jockey has recently embarked on a project like no other, a completely different job than anything he’s ever experienced; truly groundbreaking. During the typically slow months of January and February, I have been working on raising my beautiful baby girl. The job has odd hours, is physically (and mentally) demanding, and the pay is fantastic (though the monetary cost is astounding).

Our “Little One” was born in January and although I had hoped to be one of those old time fathers who paced the waiting room and handed out cigars, I ended being one of those fathers who woke up on the floor of the delivery room dressed in scrubs. The entire event was the most surreal moment of my life, and that is saying something.

Since the birth, every day has been both a joy and a challenge. I have been there for her first dirty diaper, her first smile, her first time outside, and her first ride in a car, bus, boat, and buggy. I have spent every day; almost every hour for the past two months with her and I have enjoyed every minute (well, almost every minute).

How I am going to leave her when the next out-of-town project comes up, and what milestones am I going to miss?