Drunks

Drunks in the hallway of the hotel woke me up this morning at 3:30 and I haven't been able to go back to sleep. I fantasized about opening the door and letting go a barrage of punches into the guy who kept yelling "dude" again and again to his friends. Unfortunately, I don’t have any pockets in my sleeping attire and so nowhere to put my room key. I would have certainly locked myself out of my room and been stranded in the hallway in my underwear with the bloody corpse of “dude” at my feet. Then I would have had to go down to reception to get a new key made, still in my underwear, and tell them to send someone upstairs to clean up the mess on the second floor.

I suppose could have dressed into proper ass-kicking clothes, but by the time I could have laced up my steel toed boots “dude” would have been gone. Instead I put a pillow on my head to muffle the sound and tried to sleep while wondering if prison would have been quieter than the Best Western Harvest Inn.